Quest Dialogue Rewrites

Dialogue Rewrite Guidelines & Tips

This list covers what to look for when revising dialogue. It is not comprehensive, but should give a good idea of the kind of issues that Morrowind's dialogue had.

1. Make sure the lines are well paced

Check that each segment in the topicinfo has a logical breaking point and is reasonable length. Morrowind's blocks of text were originally split into segments without much regard for pacing. (The original splitting was likely done in Morroblivion.)

• Note: Even though it is possible to go over 150 characters, this is difficult for VAs to manage. Avoid it if possible.

• Example:

  • Original

    1. But there is a book I have heard of, 'Confessions of a Dunmer Skooma-Eater,' which claims to be a memoir of a Dunmer woman

    2. who overcame her addiction to skooma. This book praises skooma, and says that skooma addicts are not necessarily foolish or evil.

  • Corrected

    1. But there is a book I have heard of, 'Confessions of a Dunmer Skooma-Eater,' which claims to be a memoir of a Dunmer woman who overcame her addiction to skooma.

    2. This book praises skooma, and says that skooma addicts are not necessarily foolish or evil.

3. Avoid non-sequitur prompts

Remember that the player can generally go through dialogue in any order, and can leave conversation and come back. Prompts need to make sense regardless for all possible cases.

• For instance, quest assignment often follows a pattern of (1) brief response, (2) player response, (3) long response, but we need to make sure that the prompts still work if instead the player goes (1) brief response, (2) player leaves conversation, (3) player comes back to conversation, NPC gives a generic greeting, (4) player returns to quest topic, (5) long response.

  • When dealing with the quest assignment pattern, is it possible to have alternate prompts for if the player asks about the quest topic right away, or if they return to it later. However, this is not possible for greetings.

  • Example (Quest Assignment):

    • Original

      1. Eno Hlaalu: One of the leaders of the Dark Brotherhood here in Vvardenfell is Durus Marius. He and his followers have retreated to Assernerairan.

      2. Player: I've already been there and cleansed it of the Dark Brotherhood.

      3. Eno Hlaalu: So you have already honorably executed Durus Marius? (etc...)

    • For quest assignment, it is okay to have "I've already been there", but we need an alternate for if the player leaves the conversation and comes back to it later.

    • Revised

      1. Eno Hlaalu: One of the leaders of the Dark Brotherhood here in Vvardenfell is Durus Marius. He and his followers have retreated to Assernerairan.

      2. Player (linked from original topic): I've already been there and cleansed it of the Dark Brotherhood.

      3. Player (alternate for if the player leaves and comes back): I've already been to Assernerairan and cleansed it of the Dark Brotherhood.

      4. Eno Hlaalu: So you have already honorably executed Durus Marius? (etc...)

• As mentioned, this is not possible when returning from a quest. (The technical issue is we that cannot link topics from greetings.)

• I normally add alternate prompts a line below the "main" prompt on the script spreadsheet, and leave a comment of what it is supposed to be used for. Alternatively, you could add a new column for alternate prompts.

• Finishing a quest has a similar pattern of (1) greeting comment on quest status, (2) player response, (3) NPC reaction. But again, there's nothing that requires the player to follow this pattern.

  • Example (Quest Return):

    • Original

      1. Eno Hlaalu, greeting the player: How goes the fight in Assernerairan?

      2. Player: The Dark Brotherhood there is dead, as you required.

      3. Eno Hlaalu: So Durus Marius is dead and the cult in Assernerairan has been crushed. (etc...)

    • The player could ask about, say, other writs before replying about Assernerairan. The prompt "The Dark Brotherhood there is dead" wouldn't make much sense if Eno Hlaalu was just talking about a writ for someone in an entirely different place.

    • Revised

      1. Eno Hlaalu, greeting the player: How goes the fight against the Dark Brotherhood?

      2. Player: Our enemies in Assernerairan are dead, as you required.

      3. Eno Hlaalu: So Durus Marius is dead and the cult in Assernerairan has been crushed. (etc...)

    • Note that we have competing objectives here! We want to avoid excessive repetition of "Assernerairan" and "Dark Brotherhood", while still having an informative prompt. The requires changing both the prompt and preceding greeting. Sometimes it won't be possible to change the NPC line, however. If that's the case, just do the best you can with the prompt alone.

5. Avoid topic repetition while turning in quests

This issue is most common when completing the quest involves handing over an item. When returning to turn in a quest, the NPC will greet the player, asking about the quest status. The player responds and... the NPC effectively just repeats their greeting back to the player, except now the player has an option to hand over or keep the item. This stems from Morrowind's keyword system: There's no prompt to inform the player what clicking the keyword will do, so a buffer is built in to give the player a chance to back out. This is not needed for Skywind. The player should be able to hand over the item from the top level of dialogue, and the "no, I'm keeping it" responses can be discarded. If you want to keep the buffer, please revise the dialogue so that there is not excessive repetition between lines.

• Example:

  • Original

    1. Baladas, greeting the player: Were you able to find the three Dwemer Books?

    2. Player: I have the books you want.

    3. Baladas: Have you found the three Dwemer Books I need? (The player is prompted to select 1 of 3 books to hand over.)

    4. Player: I think I found one of the books you wanted.

    5. Baladas: Have you found a copy of <Nchunak's Fire and Faith/Chronicles of Nchuleft/Antecedents of Dwemer Law>? (The player is prompted yes/no to give the book)

    6. Player: Yes, here it is.

    7. Baladas: Good. This is one of the three books I was looking for.

  • Revised

    1. Baladas, greeting the player: Were you able to find the three Dwemer Books?

    2. Player: I found a copy of <Nchunak's Fire and Faith/Chronicles of Nchuleft/Antecedents of Dwemer Law>. Here, take it.

    3. Baladas: Good. This is one of the three books I was looking for.

  • In the original, lines 2 thru 5 exist only because of Morrowind's keyword dialogue system. There's no need for it in Skywind. They can be cut.

• Example:

  • Original

    1. Imsin (greeting player): Are you here to report on Joncis Dalomax?

    2. Player: Joncis Dalomax is safe.

    3. Imsin: I am glad to hear that Joncis is safe. You have my gratitude.

  • Revised

    1. Imsin (greeting player): Are you here to report on Joncis Dalomax?

    2. Player: Joncis Dalomax is safe.

    3. Imsin: I am glad to hear it. You have my gratitude.

7. Avoid overeager quest greetings

When the player is assigned the quest, the quest-givers next greeting will most likely be asking about the status of the quest. This can be jarring if, say, the player hasn't even left the room yet. Try adding a new line for if the player returns to the quest-giver only a short time after the quest was given.

• Example:

  • Original:

    • Lorbumol: You collect on that debt money I sent you for? Where is it?

  • Revised:

    • Lorbumol (If player has been gone for less than 6 hours): Back so soon? I know you haven't gotten that debt money yet.

    • Lorbumol (If player has been gone for over 6 hours): You collect on that debt money I sent you for? Where is it?

Note for Coders/Quest Implementers: Add a timer condition to control which of these lines gets played. See WICommentScript for an example of a generic comment timer function.

9. Avoid excessive/inappropriate use of "Outlander"

Because Skywind is voiced, instances where the player would be referred to by their name, class, or faction rank were automatically replaced with "Outlander". However, it is rather awkward for faction quest-givers to address the player as Outlander as the player progresses through the ranks. These instances should be replaced with something more appropriate (e.g. player rank, "friend", etc...) or simply be removed.

• In particular, you should consider 1) the relationship the NPC has with the player. "Outlander" is a derisive term and 2) if the speaker is Dunmer or not. Non-Dunmer don't often use this word. But really, feel free to rewrite any awkward case of "Outlander."

• Example:

  • Original

    1. Percius: Sjoring is already dead? I'm glad to hear it. You've saved the Fighters Guild from the corruption of the Camonna Tong. As promised, I am naming you the new Guildmaster. Congratulations, Outlander.

  • Corrected

    1. Percius: Sjoring is already dead? I'm glad to hear it. You've saved the Fighters Guild from the corruption of the Camonna Tong. As promised, I am naming you the new Guildmaster. Congratulations. You've earned it.

11. Add acting directions if the line has ambiguous meaning

Sometimes the tone or meaning of a line is not clear when viewed without context. Add some extra help for our VAs when you think it's important.

• Example:

  • Original:

    1. What?

  • Revised:

    1. What? (Acting note: Angry that the player is bothering you. "What the #&!$ do you want?!?")

13. Write new Goodbye Lines

These are lines that the NPC says when the player exits the dialogue menu. Morrowind did not have these at all, but we want to add them in as many places as we can to Skywind. Typically they are used in quests for any parting words before the player goes off to do their questing business.

• These lines don't strictly have to be saying goodbye. They could be, for example, the NPC muttering something to themselves as the player walks away.

• • Some Skyrim examples are given below:

    1. Astrid:

       1. Off to Solitude with you. Time to give the Emperor some real motivation to visit Skyrim.

       2. You go speak with Muiri. I've got to deal with the Night Mother and her little... clown.

    2. Brynjolf:

       1. You watch yourself on that island. Those mercenaries don't take prisoners.

       2. Good luck in Solitude. Keep Gulum-Ei alive, but remind him who we are.

    3. Farengar:

       1. Off to Bleak Falls Barrow with you. The Jarl is not a patient man. Neither am I, come to think of it.

    4. GeneralTullius:

       1. You're dismissed.

    5. Ulfric:

       1. Talos watch over you.

  • A full spreadsheet of Skyrim's goodbye lines can be found here: Skyrim Goodbye Lines

15. Add different prompts for different player actions

Morrowind's keyword system meant the same line could be used for a lot of different things, but for Skywind we may need different prompts for different player actions.

• I normally add alternate prompts a line below the "main" prompt on the script spreadsheet, and leave a comment of what it is supposed to be used for. Alternatively, you could add a new column for alternate prompts.

• Some common cases for this include:

  • Describing different things that might have happened to the player.

    • For example, consider replacing:

      1. Player: Foryn Gilnith is the murderer. Can the guards take care of him?

      2. Soccucius: Did I misjudge in thinking you capable enough? There is no point in sending my men to do what you should have already accomplished.

    • With:

      1. Player: Foryn Gilnith attacked me after I accused him of the murder. Can the guards handle the rest?

      2. Soccucius: Did I misjudge in thinking you capable enough? There is no point in sending my men to do what you should have already accomplished.

    • and

      1. Player: Foryn Gilnith admitted to me that he is the murderer. Can the guards handle the rest?

      2. Soccucius: Did I misjudge in thinking you capable enough? There is no point in sending my men to do what you should have already accomplished.

    • based on how they interacted with Foryn.

  • Whether or not the player has done something before the quest starts.

    • For example, consider replacing

      1. Player: I found some blueprints. Here, take them.

      2. Edwinna: Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Excellent work.

    • With:

      1. Player: I'm back from Mzuleft. Here, take the blueprints found.

      2. Edwinna: Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Excellent work.

    • and

      1. Player: Actually, I've already been to Mzuleft and found some blueprints there. Here, take them.

      2. Edwinna:Yes, this is exactly what I was looking for. Excellent work.

    • based on whether the player went to Mzuleft before or after Edwinna asked them to find blueprints.

  • Whether this is the first or later time the player is asking about something. This is similar to the "repeatable instructions" point given prior. For example:

    • 1. Player (first time asking): I have this book, The Egg of Time. Can you tell me more about it?

      2. Baladas: I had not seen this book before, but it reinforces some my own theories. (etc...)

      3. Player (second and later times asking): Can you remind me what you said about The Egg of Time?

      4. Baladas: I had not seen this book before, but it reinforces some my own theories. (etc...)

  • Making player prompts vary with how the player started a quest:

    • 1. Sondaale: Are you my guide from the Fighters Guild? I am sorry I went ahead on my own. Please, let us travel together back outside.

      2. Player (if on FG quest): Hrundi sent me to be your escort. Follow me and I'll lead you to safety.

      3. Sondaale: Thank goodness. Please, just get me out of here.

      4. Player (if adventuring on their own): I came here on my own, but I can still help you. Follow me.

      5. Sondaale: Thank goodness. Please, just get me out of here.

  • If the player is tasked with, for example, collecting donations or debt money, they can lie and give the questgiver their own money instead.

    • 1. Lorbumol: You collect on that debt money I sent you for? Where is it?

      2. Player (player collected debt money): I have the money from Lirielle. Here, take it.

      3. Lorbumol: It looks like it's all here. Good work. Here, you keep half of it.

      4. Player (player decides to pay off debt themselves): (Lie) I have the money from Lirielle. Here, take it.

      5. Lorbumol: It looks like it's all here. Good work. Here, you keep half of it.

  • Or another example:

    • 1. Iulus: Have you reached our goal of one hundred gold in donations from the Argonian mission?

      2. Player (player raised 200 gold): I *doubled* our goal and raised 200 septims!

      3. Iulus: Excellent! Truly, you've exceeded our expectations.

      4. Player (player gives their own money but pretends they raised it): (Lie) I *doubled* our goal and raised 200 septims!

      5. Iulus: Excellent! Truly, you've exceeded our expectations.

17. Indicate persuasion options/player actions

When persuasion options, lying, or attacking are presented in-dialogue (rather than in Morrowind's Persuasion submenu), prompts should have the following format:

• (Persuade) at the end of the prompt for persuasion attempts (no indication for difficulty)

• (Intimidate) at the end of the prompt for intimidation attempts (no indication for difficulty)

• (Bribe ###g) at the end of the prompt for bribery attempts

• (Lie) at the start of the prompt if you want or need to indicate that the player is lying.

  • Generally (Lie) is only included when the player has an explicit truth vs. lie choice, and there is an immediate consequence to the choice.

    • In other words, we don't need a (Lie) option in early quest dialogue to account for if the player decides to betray and NPC later on in the quest.

• (Attack) at the end of the prompt if the player will start combat with this line.